When things don't go as expected....

This past week as been full of disappointments to be honest.
Up until now I haven't really had anything even remotely bad happen to me since I've moved here- setbacks yes, but nothing that I was generally disappointed in. And for the record I believe being disappointed is one of the worst feelings. It's like when you were younger and your parents weren't mad at you, they were disappointed. And there you were feeling all guilty for doing what you did. Disappointment is the worst.

First, I found out my company decided to close of the all office in Connecticut- including the office I transferred from. My boss (who gave me such great advise) will be part of this lay off. I'm sad. These people are my friends and were my coworkers. They're being laid off at the end of the year and in uncertain times. It could have so easily been me.

Second, the past few weeks I've been trying to lease a horse named Rocko. The girl who is currently leasing him is buying a new horse so he will be available at the end of the month. He's perfect and would be able to get me to where I wanted to be next show season. After hours upon hours of number crunching its become bluntly apparent I cannot afford this right now. My two vacations (next week and Disney in December) are really tying up my funds. This was disappointing on a whole new level- I really wholeheartedly thought this was something I could do until my bank account quietly reminded me I don't make an extra $1600 a month to afford the cost of a full lease. I was in tears disappointed. I know this is completely first world problems but it was something I so badly wanted it stung knowing it wasn't going to happen. After tearing up to my trainer for a good 10 minutes she reassuring me that everything happens for a reason and they would do their best to make things work out. I cannot say more about them as people and trainers- they really care about what they do for both horse and rider.

I only work a 4 day week this week then its off to the East Coast. I'm really looking forward to it- its a good time to catch up with family and friends and to reset myself.