Odds and Ends.

It's Sunday night and per usual due to my afternoon nap I am wide awake when I should be dreaming of wonderful things. However I cannot be too annoyed as this weekend was enjoyable- although I do have a one gripe.

In my 1 year of living Seattle I have come to realize I will never have a 'summer' the way it is back in New England. No more of hot and humid days and warm nights- oh no. I will spend the majority of my summer in jeans and like today, in long sleeve shirt. I know most people would find this enjoyable but its SUMMER. It's supposed to be hot- that way I enjoy and appricate the cool down in late September/early October. Le sigh.

I did it. I started running. I decided to go with interval running on the treadmill (1 minute running, 2 minutes speed walking) and frankly, it's embarrassing how out of breath I was. But hey, its a start and will hopefully improve my riding stamina. I plan on running only a few times a week but with that and riding a few more times- I should be back into shape within a few months. I actually love the feeling of tired and sore muscles- not painful- but knowing I put in a good workout. Let's keep it going!


Now an update on the goals I set back in June (saving money, being more active and putting myself/Chris out there) I can safety say that I have become more active and Chris and I have been going out more- when our schedules allow. However my bank account is taking a hit- mostly because of the horseback riding which unfortunately requires expensive 'gear'. However there have been other expenses; planning for my september vacation with my mom, Taylor Swift tickets (still need to by those) and saving for DisneyWorld (I'll save that for another blog post). So I guess what I've been debating is- half the reason I was saving was for fun vacations and other expenses that would cost more then I'd keep in my checking so why do I feel guilty?  My mom and I were talking this weekend about my riding and how hopefully next summer I will get back into showing and with any luck be leasing my own horse. I know all of this will cost money but she said it best, 'it's an investment into myself'. It's something I have always enjoyed and for the most part have excelled in-  so there's no real reason to deny myself the happiness of it. Ha- the more I write the more I sound like I'm trying to talk myself into the justifying it. So be it.

Well I'm off to try and get some sleep-this will probably be my only post for the week. I'm off to San Diego for a regional meeting from Wednesday-Friday (sometimes being a manger has its perks) and decided to stay an extra day as a mini vacation for myself (and yes, I spent money on that as well) So enjoy the week everyone- I wish it speedy!

I confess.

It's come to my attention that....
I am ridiculously out of shape.

As most of you know I've started back riding which is an exercise in its own accord, however I'm realizing that it's really not enough. I am sucking wind 80% of the time during my lessons. Physically I cannot handle an hour of jumping. I am at the point where I feel like I need to do something. I've googled a few ideas of different exercise programs but honestly I think stamina is what is most needed. That means on thing- running. I'm not a runner, at least not long distance. I've never liked it nor have I been very good at it but if I want to get back into hunter/jumper show shape it's a must. I'm way to young to be feeling this old.

5 things

My last post was not very cheerful or positive. At this time, things are not better but I'm leaving it at that.

So I decided I'd do a 5 things post (something I love, miss, hate, crave, feel)

I love-

The people in my life. If my 27 years of life has taught me anything I've learned some people enter your life to replace others- and that's not always a bad thing.

I miss- 

Ashley, my best friend. Even though we're 3,000 miles away she is always there for me. She's hilarious (like laugh till my stomach hurts) beautiful and smart- 

I hate-

Working 5 days a week. Why can't we have a 3 day weekend every month like Canada?

I crave-

Cupcakes. Thats' all.

I feel-

Grateful. 

Estranged

I love naps.
I love taking them all the time.
On most weekends I almost always take an afternoon nap. Sleeping is a hobby of mine. However when taking naps during the work week, which I've had a bad habit of lately, it prevents me from sleeping at night and then I find myself tossing and turning and eventually blogging.

As I've been saying for a month work is insane- I cannot express this enough. However this week has been challenging for me in my personal life-  while I blog about the happy things in my life (and believe me there are plenty) I steer clear of the sticky, uncomfortable and skeletons in my families closet. Which by the way, EVERY family has! I would like to believe that there are still private things in my and my family's life that should remain private. However I created this blog for me, to share my feelings, thoughts, and emotions so when something strikes me I don't feel that I should have to hold back. I was torn to write this because I feel as if the person it's about probably doesn't deserve me writing about it but I feel like it needs to be said. So here goes.

es·tranged  

/iˈstrānjd/

Adjective (of a person) No longer close or affectionate to someone; alienated. This description is the perfect one word that summarizes my father and I's relationship. That is- it doesn't exist.  The whole story probably started long before I knew it did however the actual falling out was years in the making and started when I was a teenager. While my story of events and his probably differ one thing remains the same; we don't have a relationship. In all honestly I don't feel like I missed out on anything. My mom was more then enough for me growing up- she took me to all lessons and practices,helped with homework, taught me how to drive, and how to be a contributing member of society. If I do say so myself, I think she did a fantastic job. She is the strongest person I know and it probably wasn't till I heard the whole story and was an adult that I really realized all she went thru.  However this week I discover that my father remarried- which shouldn't bother me right? But it did. A lot. More then I originally let on to myself. Maybe it's because he married someone who is only 5 years older then me (gross), or maybe it's because its official to me that he moved on from me and my mom. We are his past life- a life I'm sure he wishes would go away. As previously mentioned, I'm an only child. So unless my dad has some children roaming around I don't know about it (which probably wouldn't surprise me) I'm his only blood and flesh. My biggest frustration of him is this; regardless of how he feels toward my mother, which I don't support, you would THINK he would want to have a relationship with his only kid. I used to think that one day he would grow a pair and would attempt to reconnect but when I really think about it I know I'm better off without. I've grown up, I don't need him, and he is/will miss out on so much its a shame. Ashley probably had the best advise- I have so many amazing people in my life who support and love me. Those are my family- maybe not always blood but they are the ones that stand by my side when I needed them- those are the ones whom I love and respect.  “Lots of things can be fixed. Things can be fixed. But many times, relationships between people cannot be fixed, because they should not be fixed. You're aboard a ship setting sail, and the other person has joined the inland circus, or is boarding a different ship, and you just can't be with each other anymore. Because you shouldn't be.”  ― C. JoyBell C.

I love Weekends.

I deserved this weekend- and I made the most of it. By eating my way thru it.

Yeah I made Pumpkin Pie in July- what of it? I love pumpkin.

1. I love getting haircuts, my hairdresser is amazing and always makes my hair look and feel fantastic.
2. Funnel Cake- always better then fried dough or elephant ears.
3. ShooFly Pie- Pennsylvania Dutch classic. I was able to find it in West Seattle- what luck.
4. Pony time
5. Sunday was spent at the Farmers Market and West Seattle Summerfest.  

C and I had date night on Saturday since we barely saw each other last week. We saw Despicable Me 2- which was a cute as I expected. We also enjoyed some fatty burgers and milkshakes at Lunchbox Laboratory- which might I add was named #6 in US Today's best milkshakes in the country. Delicious. 

So overall our weekend was spent eating, buying food or making food. Yikes- alright so maybe a little light dinners in our future should be considered. 

Hope everyone had a great weekend and a tolerable work week (at least that's what I'm aiming for)

5 days till Friday!

x

So this is my Friday night

My friday night is consisting of hot tea (typical Seattle summer), Pretty Little Liars and blogging. And after this week I'm more then looking forward to it.

Per usual the week you get back from vacation you suffer from vacation hangover- the feeling you have that you’re not quite ready to join back into work/social life. I’d much rather be carefree and daydream about the vacation I just returned back from. Well, apparently my work life had different ideas

Work will be insane for the next few months- our office conducts the largest corporate wellness program in the country. If your company has wellness screenings in the PACNW chances are our office is doing it. With that being said I came back into a hurricane- category 4 for your East Coasters. On Monday I thought, 'this is going to be nice quiet week' but it was the calm before the storm. Tuesday hit with a vengeance, and after working a fun 11 hour- crazed-running around day I was exhausted. I could no longer handle all the stress therefore I slept, from 7:30pm- 6:30am. I woke up feeling better and decided to turn my frown upside-down, at least for the time being.Wednesday was better but after Tuesday I was leery to say I was ‘out of the woods’. The rest of this week has been marginally better but overall I’ve never been more excited to see Friday. Glorious light at the end of the tunnel!

This week hasn’t been all bad though- I did have my second lesson and actually got to jump! I haven’t jumped in so long and it felt amazing. I jumped on a new horse named Decker, see pic below. He was wonderful and what made it better was C being there to take a million pictures and videos so I can see myself in action. To be honest I’ve been watching the clips over and over in amazement.  I ride again tomorrow- it really really makes me so happy and I couldn’t be more thrilled to be back in the saddle. 

A little slice of home.

Weekend Catchup is a doosey this week.

I just got home this morning from being back home for July 4th weekend.It's amazing what a little time home can do for me- quality time with my mom and best friend keeps me sane. I was also determined to document my hometown and so, I took a million pictures- some of which are below including captions.

Wednesday night I landed in Boston (my favorite city) only to be greeted by my best friend whom arrived not only to the airport on time but without getting lost. This is a accomplishment in its own(her driving skills may or may not be questionable) however it was just the tip of the iceberg. We had to navigate thru the streets of Boston which was more difficult then originally predicted due to heavy police traffic. Originally the Boston bombers wanted to attack on July 4th (instead of the marathon) so many streets were closed or detoured. We made a quick stop to Vineyard Vines and then enjoyed fantastic dinner at Stephanie's on Newbury, a favorite of Ashley and I's, we took many many pictures- all of which turned out in a mixture of sweat and poor lighting- eh we tried.

Fast forward a few hours later and Ashley is dropping me off at my childhood home only to discover while the outside has remained the same the occupant inside did not. My mom shocked, astonished, surprised me with the fact she's lost 60+ pounds since January. She's started a new program where she is excelling. I couldn't be more proud of her. She said after Christmas she wanted to make a change and did-drastically. Later that weekend she finally posted a new picture of her tiny lil self and was blown away by comments of her amazing transformation. Just when I thought she couldn't be a bigger inspiration- she out does herself. 

The rest of the weekend was spent by the beach (still burnt), eating an insane amount of seafood(Seattle has salmon and crab but New England has swordfish, sea scollop's and lobster( CT wins) ,and catching up with my mom. I was lucky enjoy to spend time with those who mean the most- in my short time home I decided instead of making the rounds I would only see a few so I can actually ENJOY my time home. Time well spent. 
It made me realize two things- I am ridiculously lucky. No, seriously cannot count on my fingers and toes how lucky I am to have my mom, Ashley and other friends that feel like family. They make coming home feel special. I have started watching Downton Abbey and a character said this, 'If you're feeling homesick- there's no shame in it. It means you come from a happy home. May people would envy that'. Connecticut holds my childhood, my memories, and everything I love (with the exception of Chris and Bailey). I cannot wait to bring Chris back to see can see how amazing New England Summers are. 
The second thing I realized is- while I miss being in CT terribly I know I made the right choice to move to Seattle. I was able to get out on my own and I'm experiencing things I know otherwise I wouldn't have. I know that if it wasn't for me moving away my mom might not have ever made a life altering decision to become healthy. Home gives you a chance to realize that- to see that some thing's won't ever change and even the things that do- well often times change for the better.

And now- pictures galore.

Starting left coner- going clockwise.
Sunset at Niantic Bay
Yacht in Mystic
Ashley and I heading out to dinner
Oysters :)
CT cosmo
Sunset on the Mystic River

Sunset over Long Island Sound
Ash and I
Mom and I
My artwork at dinner

Me loving LobsterFest
Boston Harbor
Niantic <3

New England from the plane
McCooks Beach, Niantic CT
Ash and I @ Stephs
Beach Incognito
Prudenical Center, Boston MA
Grace Store- my favorite 

Weekend Catchup and Farewells

Its unbearable hot.

A few posts ago I complained that Seattle doesn't have a 'summer' however this year it's apparent that summer decided to show up, and in spite of me, attempt at record temperatures.

Touche.

Besides sweating the weekend away it was enjoyable.

I took my first riding lesson in over 3 years- and my body is in shock. Every muscle in my body aches- arms, legs, back- you name it, it's sore. When did I get old?! I used to ride for hours with no real effect- it also probably doesn't help that I'm terribly out of shape. Maybe a little extra cardio would do me some good. Besides that the actual ride was glorious- exactly as I remembered it being. I was able to do most of the basics with ease and my muscles (at the time) seemed to remembered what to do. I rode an fantastic 7 year old Thoroughbred named Finley whom I hope to have many more rides on.

I was later plummeted back to reality when I went to the tack shop (gear store) to pick up a few necessities (helmet, half chaps) after a cool $500+ later I remembered why it has been quoted as the most expensive sport. High cost or not I've decided it's money well spent. There is nothing that improves my mood better then some pony time.

Today I complained mostly about the heat, how sore I was and the amount of people downtown. We did however try a new sushi spot in Seattle, Japonessa. It's sushi infused with "Latino Flair" it was really good and their Sunday lunch specials were totally affordable. It's comparable to my old standby in Seattle, Umi. 

Photos- new half chaps and old boots
Sushi
Quick shot @ Pikes and Puget Sound.

I finished White Oleander  this weekend,which I've been wanting to read for years. It was excellent- dark, humorous and well told. I like books that are quick moving, not dwelling on one topic or feeling, detail or plot that drags the story down. White Oleander had a lot to cover and did it well. I've moved onto 'Brining home the Birkin' it will be a quick and light read but after WO I feel like it's a good balance.   

This will probably be my last post till I'm home next Sunday. It's off to New England on Wednesday for some much needed R & R in my little town by the beach.